Today, let’s dive into another universal problem: the grand fail of our poorly constructed New Year Resolutions. The kind of people who don’t spend New Year’s Eve in a party are usually alone at home, strumming their sad guitar in the midnight silence, writing a new song about their dreams. They see December to January to December in a flashback to come and take in deep breaths of inspiration and resilience. I am one of that kind.

What gets us all sailing in the same boat, though, are… yes, New Year resolutions. Weight loss, promotion, read a book per week, travel more, go to the gym more. It’s such a long list.

New Year Resolutions
Photo by Polina Kovaleva from Pexels

And let’s face it. Sometimes, all this drama can be draining, mentally.

New Year Resolutions can be toxic.

It would be draining for somebody who’s binge-watched rom-coms with heaps of popcorn and fried chicken laying by their side on the couch, to go to the gym, all of a sudden. Your body and your brain both immediately yell a big no at you.

I’ve been there, sis…

Setting all these so called “goals” and “resolutions” because apparently, someone needs to have a more “productive and driven life”. Can get toxic and messy sometimes. Not to mention the fact that we end up doing nothing of what we decided at the start of the year. Another 365 days, or 366 if it’s a leap year, gone to total waste!

Tell you what- half of the time, those New Year resolutions of yours, they’re not even yours. A big group of people just tell you that going to the gym and eating salads every day and getting promoted is the means to bettering who you are. And everybody is doing it, so you’re doing it.

That’s not right.

When I started my personal development journey, I wanted to do it all at once. Develop a new mindset, go out for a run each morning, eat healthy, and meditate for hours- all at once.

Y’know what happened?

It was a big, big fail.

via GIPHY

Until I found another way to set goals that were truly mine and achieve them wholeheartedly and soundly.

Every so often, we try to suddenly better our life, but it doesn’t happen. We want new results, but our formula is the same old thing. That won’t get us results. When the programming is right, the expected results will show up without any obstacle.

You need to have a hardcore system in place that’s functioning from deep within every single day.

You have to put in a new formula to get new results.

Read that again.

So, what is this new way?

Very simple-. Trash those stupid resolutions. Choose a theme for your year. As simple as that.

Joi, a cool sis whom you can find here, is a multi-passionate creative educator & business owner and she once spoke about themes in her stories. I was so determined to try it because back then, I was a huge mess, with shimmer heels and new toxic resolutions to accomplish.

Her idea about a theme for New Year’s is great and everybody needs to know about it! I tried it once, and I haven’t looked back since.

Here’s a blog post of hers about New Year themes which you can look up “right here” (Highly, highly recommended)

Setting a theme for me has brought openness, flexibility and importantly, joy, into my journey of becoming a better person.

Here are themes I’ve had over the past years:


2018: Say Yes.
2019: Embrace Change
2020: Become a servant.
2021: … I’m not telling you that just yet 🙂

And these are not vague sentences that only feel fancy.

via GIPHY

Before 2018, I realized I was always cancelling on family gatherings, meets, making new friends, new challenges and opportunities. And I remember thinking to myself – if I don’t open up, how in the world am I going to learn new things and discover what I can do? How will I meet new versions of myself?

I remember thinking to myself – if I don't open up, how in the world am I going to learn new things and discover what I can do? How will I meet new versions of myself? Click To Tweet

I realized how much I was stunting my growth. So, my theme that following year- was very simple. Say yes. That year, I went to so many wonderful wedding parties and delightful family celebrations. I even went to a short film festival. The universe opened up when I decided to open my heart to it.

The universe decides to open up when we decide to open our hearts to it.

My goal in 2019 almost sprang up its game- changes I never anticipated, started taking form. Just when I off to college, god out in a whole year of Christian mission, fully planned, into my life and no matter how flabbergasted I was, I said yes. (Lessons from 2018) and embraced change, even if it was scary and my whole life changed.

Also read: “19 Things I’ve learned in 19 years

The universe decides to open up when we decide to open our hearts to it Click To Tweet

2020 brought a great deal, but thankfully, I already knew how to embrace change (Lessons from 2019). I was able to live a life with the bare minimum and be humble, like a servant waiting on her master for direction and calling. God taught me patience in 2020.

Why am I telling you this?

When you allow your free-flowing life to gush harder, it becomes beautiful. Don’t spoil it with your old-fashioned resolutions. Year after year, we build up different aspects of our lives (Actually, God does) and we grow and learn all throughout the year, not just in January.

Sure, you can have 2-3 specific goals you might want to tick off this year. Like, hit 20K in business, etc. That’s awesome! But, if you’re someone who doesn’t have something very streamlined yet, this works best.

Trash those stupid resolutions. Choose a theme for your year. Click To Tweet

The goal is to live in the beautiful, dynamic tension of learning, growing and loving the process. Learning and self-improvement are inspired by God in our lives. It is positive and healthy. It strengthens and refines.

Here are a few Questions that might help you find your theme:

Take time to genuinely find your answers

  • Reflect on the past year. What could I have done, that I did not do? Or, what could I have done differently and better?
  • 2. What’s something that your family and friends say you need to get better at?
  • Considering what’s to come in the New Year, (maybe a new job or a new college course) what can I do to be more prepared?
The goal is to live in the beautiful, dynamic tension of learning, growing and loving the process. Click To Tweet

Maybe you need more confidence. Maybe you need to stop making excuses and do what God is putting on your heart. Or maybe you need to get serious with the direction of your life.

If you’re on a journey of spirituality, self-awareness and mindfulness, your deepest conscience already knows what you need to do this year. (Trust me, my conscience told me my theme for this year)

If you start seeking, God will not let you search in vain. He will show you His dreams and plans for you and you will walk in that path, year after year, beautiful flourishing and growing into who God has created you to be.

If you start seeking, God will not let you search in vain. He will show you His dreams and plans for you and you will walk in that path, year after year, beautiful flourishing and growing into who God has created you to be. Click To Tweet

If you can’t find any theme: then maybe you need to get to know God and yourself. And that journey is pretty adventurous. You’ll have fun!

Only you know what you are meant to do this year. So, go do it.

Thanks for reading, sweet! I hope you kill it this year.