Christian girl’s guide: 4 Things to look for in a man

Too many times, I’ve met a guy who seems briefly interested in me. What I do immediately after, is convince myself he’s in love, and wants to marry me. The next few days I spend waiting and observing for signs that will confirm my shaky biased assumption. I’m then disappointed because he’s not what I thought he was. “He’s not what I want” is something I say all the time. Relatable, I know. Read on: 4 Things to look for in a man.

But I’m proud of it- I don’t settle for. Ever. I do it because of an extremely useful ground rule I have.

Ground rule:

To find out if a man truly loves you, you need to REALLY KNOW the love of someone who has indeed loved you truly. So that you can measure the two and find out for certain.

Who can be a better candidate than Jesus when it comes to love, amiright? It’s important to know the love of God. If not, it is possible we may be lured by something that isn’t love, but “looks” a lot like it.

And I’m sure I’m not the only one that’s happened to before…

Questions to ask:

  • Do you know the love of Jesus?
  • Can you picture it’s texture, feel and nature?
  • Can you tell the love of God from a foreign love?

Taste the love of god before anything else. So when a man says he loves you, you’re gonna be able to recognize whether or not he is on a mission to love you like God does.

4 Things to look for in a man

Here are 4 things you should look for in a man:

1. Look for: consistency

Jesus is consistent with his love for us. He says things and does them. Integrity and honesty!

Are you dating someone who repeatedly makes promises and then puts them off? Leads you on and then vanishes away? Makes plans and then cancels them? Has a different personality on everyday?

Get a bestie who can scream into your face and tell you he’s not a qualified man. Or just take it from me.

When Jesus loves you, there is no inconsistency. There is no inconsistency in the love of God. Spot it, and I will surrender all of my sour cream potato chips to you.

2. Look for: A love without doubts

Too many of us girls date men while living in doubt the whole time. Does he like me? Are we heading towards marriage? Is he secretly cheating?

One day it feels like you’re SO close to being married, he’s gonna get down on a knee. The next day, you don’t recognize him at all. Is something like this happening on the regular? If it is from God, it comes with peace, calm assurance and a joyful anticipation. When its not, you battle with fear, worry, a sense of disturbance and doubt.

READ: Trouble with your trust in God? Read this.

Jesus loves you. He waits every morning for you to open your eyes so he can TELL you and SHOW you how much he loves you. He gave up his life for you. He provides for all your needs every day. He watches you intently. He is interested, and present and very much alive. There’s no doubt he loves you.

You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.

Psalm 139:5

When a man loves you, he makes sure you know it. You don’t have to stay in doubt and keep over-analysing everything to figure it out.

When a man loves you, he makes sure you know it. Click To Tweet

3. Look for: a love without fear

Are you afraid or scared to be yourself in the relationship you’re in? Can you be passionate about your faith and walk with god when you’re around this guy? Does he intimidate you, or encourage and support you?

This might be helpful:

When I’m around him, my heart is filled with____

  • peace
  • calm
  • assurance
  • hope


  • anxiety…
  • on my guard the whole time
  • some part of me stays buried because he doesn’t like or tolerate that
  • need to be careful with my words & actions or he might just erupt

Also read: How I pray for my future husband

4. Look for: commitment

Whenever I read the Old Testament, it absolutely cracks me up- God and his people have such a rocky relationship history, but they’re still going strong. I mean, look at them- the people keep going away from god, suffering, returning, getting carried away once more, returning to god again, God showing anger and punishment only to give it up and love his people again. Over and over.

It continues even today. With you and me.

There is no love without commitment. Click To Tweet

Now, that’s a real relationship-

Knowing that you could be going through your highest points or your lowest, most shameful, vulnerable experiences and your person would still be there. There is no love without commitment.

A conscious choice to love you, even when he doesn’t quite feel like it- is love.


Find a guy who is not afraid of commitment. A man afraid of commitment clearly hasn’t taken notes about loving, from God. And we don’t want someone like that, now do we? Find a man who takes his notes on how to love a woman, from God.

Find a man who takes his notes on how to love a woman, from God. Click To Tweet

Now you know the 4 things to look for in a man. Hey sister, man or no man… let Jesus be your ultimate lover. He wants to shower his love on you, hem you in and protect, provide for and preserve you. He meant it when he said he loves you- He came to earth to save you. Don’t pass that up, please.

None of the girls in your high school group are going to find perfect husbands. That includes you. We are called to love our spouses with acceptance and imitate the unconditional love of God. But choosing the right man is the beginning of a godly, sacramental marriage.

Liked what you read? Good enough to leave a comment? Commenting or sharing this with a friend would totally make my day.

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Psalm 34:18

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